The Battle Within, A Fight For Absolute Control...[Training-Kizo-Privet]

It was early in the morning, the sky was dark with heavy gray clouds filled with rain, a gloomy sight to fit the mood of the day. It was time, the day Kizomaru had been dreading, but she knew it had to be done; Today was the day she was going to the World of the Living for her inner hollow training. When she had asked the other Visored for help this was what they suggested, they said it would be necessary for her to train with the rest of the Visored, which included Ichigo because they wanted the extra help, because of the way it worked; No one or three people would be able to help without being extremely worn and damaged, there for they needed more people. She had asked what to expect, Kensei had said to expect the worst but before he could continue Rose cut him off and told her to keep hope for the best, since he did not want to add to the stress the young woman was already feeling, but they all three agreed that it was better she went into it with an idea of what goes down, hoping that maybe if she knew it might help some how; So Shinji had explained how she would have to fight her hollow for dominance, how she would transform to a full hollow on the outside and how she would be fighting the others in that state, and how she had an hours time to tame the hollow, while all that made her nervous nothing cut her as much as what he had said at the end of his explanation.

"...If ya don't tame it within that hour, we'll end up havin' ta kill ya..."

She winced hearing that statement and it played over and over in her head, every time it echoed in her mind it cut her a little more; She stood waiting at the Senkaimon, all the while thinking about the possible outcomes to her training, the one she pondered most was her death and what all she would be leaving behind and who all she would be hurting. It made her sick to think about, having a vivid imagination was surely her greatest curse as she could see her funeral playing out before her; She saw her sister's depressed and broken expression, and it hurt her heart to think what the poor girl might do if she died, her friends with tear stained faces and the blank expression of her lover who looked as though he were crying but there were no tears, presumably because he had been crying non-stop since her death. It was overwhelming, almost as if she could feel their pain even though nothing had happened yet. It took all the strength she could summon to fight back the tears she wanted to shed, she just wanted to throw back time and prevent this mess from ever happening in the first place, but she knew that was impossible.

Kizomaru had barely slept the the night before due to how on edge she was, and her depressed mood only served to compromise her further; Shuuhei had tried to comfort her, singing her soft songs in hopes of helping calm her, but in the end it did nothing much to help, even listening to his beating heart did not aid much in her attempts to calm her nerves. What finally did help however, was a late night trip to Squad Four for a sleeping aid, a strong cup of herbal tea, and curling up in his lap while he held her as tightly as he could without crushing her as she cried until she fell asleep in his arms. He hated seeing her like that, it hurt his heart to know she was going through something that he could not really help with; Though he was just as nervous as she was he tried his best not to show it, to just be there for her and worry about himself later as his most major concern was that he help her as best as he could, but he found that it was harder than he thought and ended up shedding a few, quiet tears of his own before he fell asleep with her snugly in his arms.

She wondered how she could still feel the urge to cry, after sobbing until she passed out just the night before, she figured there would be nothing left but she was wrong, she could feel the tears stinging her eyes yet she continued to fight them; She wanted to put on a strong front rather than break down, but she was finding it harder to do with each passing second and soon a small stream of tears began falling from her crystal blue eyes, she held herself as she sobbed; They were quiet, but they made her treble as she continued fighting the battle even though she had lost. Her hollow found this the perfect opportunity to help break her hosts mental stability further than she already had, the parasite had been causing Kizomaru trouble since she first woke up; Taunting her by saying she could never hope to win and that she could kiss her life good bye.'Tch how unbecoming of a warrior to cry in the face of death...I thought you were a big girl not a baby! You're pathetic, I'll take joy in tearing you to pieces..' Niveous snarled harshly, her cruel words and the sinister laughter which followed made Kizomaru growl lowly as she wiped her eyes on the sleeves of her uniform.

"Fucking cunt, can't you leave me alone for five goddamn minutes!? When I get in there you're dead you hear me!? I'll fucking kill you!" Kizomaru exclaimed, causing the gate guards to peer at her with an odd look, as if they were watching a crazy person; Though there was some truth to that, Niveous drove Kizo crazy, so much so it made her moody and she was tired of it. Noticing the guards stare at her she shot them an irritated glare, fire shone in her crystal blue gaze."Can I help you?" She asked with venom, then sighed when she realized how she sounded."Sorry.." She cursed under her breath, though her tears had stopped falling which she was thankful for. Niveous' laughter at her outburst was maddening, causing a headache which made Kizomaru grip her head tightly. She was so focused on pushing the beast out of her mind so that she could think clearly that she did not notice the gate guard ushering her forward until he spoke verbally that she could go through, once she heard she simply nodded and stepped through the Senkaimon, her steps were heavy as she trudged forward; fearing that she may not come back alive.

As soon as she stepped out of the Senkaimon she was right outside the Urahara Shoten, it was quiet, usually someone would come out and greet visitors but it seems today was not one of those days; the weather matched that in the Soul Society, gray and even a little foggy. The air was damp as was the ground, it had just rained not too long ago and the cold moister still lingered thick in the atmosphere, making Kizomaru shiver in her simple shihakusho outfit, granted it was tailored to winter weather, but that still did not seem like enough to protect her from the chill creeping under her skin to caress her bones and freeze her to her core.

She stayed not long outside for fear of catching cold, with a quick step she was inside the building and with an even quicker one she found her way to the Under Ground Training Area that Kisuke had built under his store; it baffled her that something like that could exist on the scale that it did. The grounds seemed to stretch out for miles, seemingly endless in all directions but she knew there had to be a border somewhere, but to ponder where that border could be was not the purpose of her time here. Her time here was meant for something far more dangerous, something that she was not guaranteed to walk away from, but something completely necessary for her to do.

She took careful steps to an area of the training grounds she deemed to be closest to the middle, placed her zanpakuto three feet from her person, and sat herself down with her legs crossed one on top of the other, sitting Indian style on the sandy ground below. As soon as she made contact with the floor a barrier was erected, seemingly automatically, which encased her within it's walls; the barrier separated her from her zanpakuto and the rest of the outside world, this was of course for safety measures.

Taking slow, calming, deep breaths she closed her crystal eyes and tried her best to relax, her once erratic heartbeat had calmed to a steady rhythm and her body became fully relaxed. She was performing Jinzen, a deep meditation which would allow her to enter her inner world and there confront the demon which had spent the last countless, sleepless months terrorizing her to the brink of attempting suicide and countless cases of self harm, though barely visible there were scares along her body from the wounds she inflicted upon her own flesh, fortunately Squad Four had been able to minimize the marks.

It was ten minutes before she was completely gone, lost within the confines of her own privet world, the one that she used to go to often because the landscape was so calming to her; however with the presence of her hollow it had become less of a haven and more of a place she wished to avoid at all costs. The once deep, midnight black sky was now blood red, the moon that once hung so proudly was gone, as were the countless stars that accompanied it. The soft grass was now course sand and the lake had dried up, the cherry blossom tree was wilted, it's limp branches drooped and were not long from falling completely off the tree and dead petals littered the ground everywhere. This was no longer her place of peace, this was Niveous' playground, a sickening sight befitting of such a beast.

Kizomaru took in the altered world with a horrified gaze, staying on high alert for she knew her hollow could come out of no where at any given moment, the new landscape felt so cold to her that goosebumps ran down the entire length of her spine. It was truly gruesome, at least to her, and it was proof of just how out of control Niveous was; she felt ashamed for letting her run rampant for as long as she did, but there was also not much she could have done anyhow, but she could correct it now and it was her very intention to do just that.

"I know you're here somewhere! Show yourself!" She called with a burning resolve, one that would not be extinguished so easily, even by this wretched demon who plagued her every thought, filling her head with nothing but thoughts of hopelessness and despair; making her relive the death of her parents every night she laid down to sleep.

It was not long after she spoke, that a wicked cackling filled the air and echoed, repeating like a sick melody which carried nothing but evil throughout the empty air....