Roxas Nightingale [W.I.P.]

Name: Roxas Nightingale
Nickname: Night
Age: Looks 21
Gender: Male
Squad:Squad 11
Rank:Lieutenant
Weapon(s): Zanpakuto
Personality: Hard-worker, Strong willed, Generous, Kind, Serious
Physical Appearance:

Long gray hair, tan skin, blue eyes, traditional Shinigami robe, Well built body


Bio:Once was a pilot for the U.S during WWII.. Roxas was a great pilot and well known as well. Throughout his career he earned the rank of Lieutenant General but sadly he died a year after he advanced into the rank. His plane was shot down by an enemy plane. He entered the soul society moments after impacting to earth. Years after his Death, Roxas trained to be a Shinigami and one hell of a good one due to his human life. Over the years he was given the rank of Lieutenant of Squad 11

Inner world appearance:

His inner world consist of a large forest with many large trees, a few ponds, One long river and a waterfall. The sky is dark blue to black as in turning to night time.

Zanpakutō

Name: Tearrun
Zanpakutō spirit:

Roxas Zanpakuto spirit is that of a woman in the near twenty look. She looks like a forest spirit; wearing a leather garb and pants. Her hair is long and jet black, eyes are gray and she stands 5'4. Her skin is slightly pale.

Sealed form: In pic.. the sword

Shikai

Call out phrase: "Heavenly wind"
Shikai description: When Shikai is active Roxas gains a major speed boost. It allows him to control the air around him to send out blast of wind at the opponent as well boost his or any of his comraids speed
Ability: Air Manipulation
Techniques:

Demon wind slash(s): A powerful slash with his blade; which sends large slash(s) blast towards the foe. Depending on how strong he wishes the slash(s) this can be quick or take awhile to build up. A large and powerful slash may take a few seconds longer than weaker slashes.

Tornado:Roxas whips his blade from the ground to the sky, sending forth a large spinning gust soon to form into a large tornado. Depending on how far he wish it to go, decides the size it will get and the force. The time it takes to use the attack varies on distance and how many. A powerful Tornado may take a few minutes to build up



Bankai

Bankai name: Demon Wind
Bankai description: When his Bankai is active Roxas gains more speed in his movements and attacks than in Shikai. His wind attacks deal more damage and can cut through almost anything.
Ability:Demon wind: Stronger and darker form of wind. Instead of light color wind attacks are, Demon wind attacks come out gray to black in color.
Techniques:

Demon wind slash: A powerful slash with the blade that sends a massive slash of wind towards the target. This attack takes 20 seconds to build up unless Roxas sends multiple waves; than just seconds.

Rush: A High speed movement towards, away or around the target.

Shatter: Thrusting his blade into the Earth which sends powerful blast of air into the ground. Roxas can choice where the air goes and where it does go, the ground shatters, sending rubble everywhere

Role-play sample:

(Sample taken from a guild on gaia.. one of my post)

Alexandra kept her pale blue eyes locked in-front of her as she slowly walked about the grounds in search for where she had to go. She knew first she needed a dorm assign to her then she would need to pick up her uniform... Man she'll hate wearing it when the time comes. She rather wear what she had on now, which was a long, silk like dress, tattered in a few spots. She was a dark angel after all and these were what she liked. She spotted a group of people whom looked like teachers not far from where she was. She wondered if she should socialized but decided otherwise, she was not the socializing type of girl..

Alexandra looked away from the group and over to some benched not far off from her location. She decided to walk over and sit down for awhile. She really did need the rest after flying for days on end to get here. Her eyes flicked back to the group but more towards the demon she now noticed within the group. A slight grin appeared upon her black colored lip. "A demon... This school just got more interesting to me" She said in a low, sweet voice.

Her eyes slowly turned towards the blue sky. Over head were a few birds souring high above. She gave out a low yawn before her eyes blinked shut. "Hmm.. I think I'm gonna take a nap." She said to herself. With her arms behind her head and feet crossed, Alexandra slowly drifted into darkness which we call sleep.

I call dibs on judging this profile.

Anyways, I know you aren't done yet, So notify me after you are done and I'll judge your profile.

Okay, firstly, I'll cover the major problem I see.

Bankai. You cannot be able to cut everything. That is considered overpowered. You may be able to say that it becomes extremely sharp, so it cuts most things. But it can't cut absolutely everything. Period.


Anyways, Physical appearances, you must describe in words as well.

Demon Wind Slash, explain more on how strong it is and it's properties. (Does it need additional time to charge to be more powerful? etc)

Tornado; Same as above.

Bankai Ability (Demon Wind); Explain. Just 2 words leave it under-explained.

Remember, lack of details means alot more ways to exploit your character during combat. Give your opponents almost nothing to exploit.

As was specifically stated in the template, the bio needs to be at least two paragraphs long.

Shikai description is supposed to be description of the appearance, not the ability. Furthermore, you may only have one shikai ability, which is why there was no plural variation of ability in the template. So, either the wind manipulation or the speed boost will have to be dropped, once you attain shikai.

Your techniques seem fine to me.

And after looking at your RP sample, I can only approve you for a MDR-1 with 35 stat points. This is the rank of a low-seated officer. This means you will not be able to start out with a bankai or a shikai. However, the lower ranks can earn points faster than the higher ranks, which means that if you simply RP actively (or even just refer a lot of people), you can climb the ranks pretty quickly, while improving your overall RP skill. You can keep the shikai and bankai on here if you don't have a program to save it on, as long as you either strike it through or leave a note that states that your character has not achieved shikai or bankai yet.

Once your bio and shikai description are modified appropriately, I can approve this for the rank I mentioned above.