Pages Of His Past [Senshi Nakajima] {Private}

Spoiler:

As time drifted back long before the shinigami that would become the vice captain of squad six, his time as a local resident of Rukonagi was one he could not throw completely out of his mind. Senshi Nakajima time in a much more populated district was one of both great turmoil and frustrations. He had no time to be his own person or think in a way like other would have the freewill to do so. Senshi never arrived in Soul Society like saved souls do by shinigami officers that patrol the human world. He was born a pure soul and raised by members that weren’t a great honorable clansman that exist nowadays. They were a clan but they geared their knowledge and expertise to raise prodigies that would become future protectors of Soul Society because that was the goals they set for themselves and the clan’s existence.

Senshi was not much older than a small child barely starting his studies and his recollection of good memories fade in and out. While others could run and play with friends he had recalled being taught the ways of the sword. Handling it, holding it and swinging it with each movement of his body. Some days were good and others felt as if he’d never find solitude in this kind of upbringing. Days turned into weeks and so did the mindset of always having to question it all and this would be when a part of Senshi drifted further out the door. His parents were never around so much of his spent being raised was by countless elders and instructors that never showed him the slightest bit of compassion at all.

Senshi just had grown to be into status of not showing his feelings at all, but even still it did not mean he didn’t have any to begin with. It was just that he had to conceal them from any and all individuals that would come to learn and know about him into his later years of life in Soul Society. “You have finally come to understand the place amongst the masses Senshi,” one such unnamed elder informs Senshi who is no more than a young teenager of about 12-15years of age but since time passes vaguely slower than that of human world it would appear as if all young and old beings of this spectrum are far older than they even appear as a mass majority. Having held his tongue and reasons to respond, the young Senshi says not a word back but shakes his head down and up to show that he agrees with his elder and everything he has told him up until this point.

I have no reason to question my purpose, for I need to achieve what we as a family set out day and day out,” Replaying the cycle of these thoughts over and over again deep within his head, Senshi has yet to question anything and even though he is growing older and more wiser with each passing of the years he has yet to understand when his purpose shall be his own. The young warrior has yet to see his mother and father but throughout it all he can still sense the presence of them being around as if his connection to them is strong. “Take a break Senshi we shall come and get you when the next session of the training is ready to commence,” One such elder walks up to Senshi getting ready to go over some exercises that incorporate a few kendo and iaido footwork and stances. Having being told to break his concentration to take a break was a first for Senshi since his training felt rather rigorous for warriors of the family are never told to take a break for anything as only an elder/s can give such a direct rule. Though the rule is rarely heard or told.

“ ….huh,” Senshi sort of says as he doesn’t have the slightest bit of idea what to do now that he is told to take a break and do something that doesn’t involve training or remembering certain function of a blade and or principal of fighting.

It was in these moments Senshi heard something he has never seen or thought to be possible outside his “Family” children in the passing playing and laughing, the idea of having a good time that didn’t involve anything of holding a weapon or being conformed to remember basic knowledge to never let the guard fall below. His interest to see this was needed as he dropped the wooden sword and without realizing it walked like a zombie to the opening of the gates that surrounded their family like a fortress from the outsides of one such populated district in Rouknagi. Peeking slightly as he gripped the gate gradually as if curious to see this with his own eyes thinking it to be falsely heard about prior. “What is this…Hey what are you guys doing,” The group of children running, laughing and playing tag stopped to see Senshi asking them in a passing a question as if he doesn’t have any idea what they are doing. “Haven’t you heard of fun,” Pausing for a moment as if lost in his own collections of thoughts and racing around his head like a wild animal trying to find a purpose to respond. “Fun...What is fun? Do you have to practice it daily to be able to do it well,” And like the confused kid Senshi hasn’t the slightest idea that fun is a thing you do without thinking but being raised like has been one wouldn’t be really surprised and the group of children answer him giggling and smiling as they one of the stops and walks forward just a few feet from the gate and Senshi. She answer with the sweetest voice back, Haha…Silly fun isn’t something you practice. It’s a thing meant to be enjoyed, come and find out what fun is by leaving with us for a bit,”

Hesitant to leave since he has never walked out of his family barracks ever, Senshi hasn’t the slightest clue what is beyond the gates at all but since his elders did say he should take a break Senshi nods and for the first time a smile bore over his face as if being produces not on practicing it but on a feeling that came into him. Looking back one last time, Senshi sees nobody watching and back forward to see the children just a few feet from him waving for him to come and join them. Pulling away from the families gates his hands gradually let go as he can feel a sense of freewill he hasn’t ever felt in his entire life at all. But having only took a few feet and his left hand just about close to letting go he felt a great big pull back as if something was restricting his movement right away. “What do you think you are doing? Get over here right now child ,” Displeased by what has happened, Senshi looks to the happy children who haven’t the slightest clue what has happened and he shakes his head informing them he cannot go and apologies.

The individual pulling the young Senshi back was none other than his father he has not seen in months and with a stern look of disappointment Senshi realizes that he somehow disrespected the family by trying to have fun. Knowing he wasn’t suppose to leave the barracks or gates at all his father rages out telling him that he wasn’t raised to be able to think for himself. “You are not here to have fun, if the elders told you to take a break that did not mean for you to leave to go have fun. That means you go and practice more by yourself,” Bowing to his father he has not seen since being brought to the elders to be trained to know it all, Senshi looks for his wooden sword and continues to practice his forms and wait for the elders to come and get him to start the next series of exercises.


to be continued...